Welcome to Akatsuki
by DeepFriedMarshmallow
Summary: Deidara's life in the Akatsuki. Pairings are SasoDei, KakuzuxHidan, ZetsuxTobi, onesides ItaDei, and eventual KisaIta. Rated T for cursing and hinting at sex.
1. Welcome

Hi this is my first fanfic so please be nice. I haven't seen any shippuden episodes so in basing my knowledge off of pictures, fanfics and my imagination so it's not going to be the same as the real show/manga. Also i got Deidara's family name from a fanfic i just dont remember which one. The main pairing is SasoDei with side pairings of KazukuxHidan, ZetsuxTobi, PeinxKonan, one sided ItaxDei, and eventual KisaIta.

Flames will be used to roast marshmallows.

"Speaking"

**"Zetsu's Black side"**

'Thinking'

_"Telepathic speaking"_

_'Reading'_

_**(Author's notes)**_

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Deidara slowly opened his eyes and realized he couldn't see anything. He could tell that he was lying on the ground and that there was no light. Deidara quickly used his scope to scan his surroundings. He then realized that he was in a small, circular room with walls and a ceiling made completely of stone.

"Where the HELL am i, un?" Deidara questioned no one in particular as he got to his feet.

Just then a chunk of the wall opened up to revel a person silhouetted against the light. The person had short spiky hair and was wearing a dress like garment with a ridiculously large collar. "Hello Deidara-san. I see you are finally awake." The person, now reveled as a man, said in a deep chilling voice that scared the hell out of Deidara. He could tell just by this man's voice that he was dangerous.

"Who are you? Where am i? How do you know my name, un?" Deidara demanded. Even thou he was scared he couldn't let it show. He was an Iwanin after all.

"All will be explained soon" The man calmly replied as he made his way over to Deidara, who upon reaching for his clay found that it was gone along with all his other weapons.

"Where are my weapons, un?" Deidara yelled starting to freak out now.

"Do you rely believe that i would be stupid enough to bring you to my base and let you keep your weapons on you? No, you will get them back later"

"Wait you didn't bring me here it was two weird looking guys, un. Wasn't it, un?"

"Technically , but they work for me"

"Oh, but wait why do you want me, un?"

"I want your Kekke Genkai_**(sp?)**_. You have after all found a way to make it use full. Am i right?"

"Umm, un" Was all Deidara could think to say.

"Follow me" The man turned and started walking away and Deidara followed. (I bet you can guess who the man is by now, right? XD)

The two of them walked out into a dimly lit room that was just like the small room but it was allot larger and had torches on the walls. Deidara noticed that the man still was just a shadow which gave Deidara the creeps. Deidara took a look around and noticed seven people standing on the opposite side of the room staring at them. One of them was also a shadow just like the man. Also there were the two men that had brought him here. One was an albino with slicked back hair a weird medallion and no shirt. The other was a large man wearing a veil. All of the people were wearing the same black cloak with red clouds on them and giant collars.

"Whats with the brat?" What seemed like a hunched over old man asked in a gruff voice

"This is Taki Deidara-san _**(Taki is his family name)**_ , he will be joining the organization as your new partner."

"Pein-sama not to be rude but i can't work with that little brat, he will just get in my way! I mean what is he twelve?"

"Now now Akasuna-san you_are_ in need of a partner, and his Kekke Genkai _will_ be a use full addition to the organization. Also i would think that _you,_ of all people, would know not to judge a book by its cover."

"Yes sir, i'm sorry sir."

"Now" The man, now reviled as Pein took Deidara's headband and held it out to him along with a kunai "Cut a slash threw the Iwa symbol"

"But" Deidara started to say but was cut off by Pein

"It's either join us or die"

Deidara nodded and reluctantly slashed his headband.

"Good" Pein pushed Deidara towards Akasuna "Akasuna-san take Deidara-san to your room and help him get settled. Deidara-san your belongings have already been brought to yours and Akasuna-sans room, welcome to Akatsuki." with that Pein turned and left soon followed by the rest of the Akatsuki.

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Sorry this was so short, i will try to update often and with longer chapters. Ok? Thanks for reading I'll post another soon.

Also if you have any suggestions for the story feel free to add them to your review, thank you.


	2. Meetings

"Speaking"

"YELLING"

'Thinking'

_"Wispering"_

_**"Telepathic speaking"**_

_'Reading'_

**"Zetsu's Black side"**

**"**Zetsu's **black **and** white** sides **talking **in** unison" **or **"**Y**e**s**"**

**(Author's notes)**

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When Deidara and Akasuna**(1)** entered their room Akasuna turned to Deidara. "Brat, even thou we are partners that doesn't make us equals. I have been in this organization longer than you have been alive and you will treat me with respect. Do you understand me you little shit?"

"Yes Danna, un" Deidara replied.

Akasuna was taken by surprised at the level of respect Deidara gave him without putting up a fight but he didn't show it. "Good. Now I'm working so sit down and shut up"

'This stupid old freak! He tells me to respect him but treats me like some stupid, useless little kid, un!' Deidara thought angrily sitting down on his bed.

The door opened to revile a beautiful man with pale skin and black hair.

"Hello, Itachi-san" Akasuna said nodding to Itachi as he entered the room carrying a small bundle.

"Hello Sasori-san." Itachi replied.

Itachi walked over to Deidara, smiled, and said "It's nice to meet you Deidara-kun, my name is Itachi."

"Hello Itachi-san, un"

Itach handed Deidara the bundle "Here is your new cloak, Konan-san just finished it"

"Thank you Itachi-san, un" Deidara said cheerily, giving Itachi a grateful smile.

"Anytime Deidara-kun"

"Itachi-san can you thank Konan-san for me, un?"

"Why don't you thank her your self? Come on I'll take you to her."

"Okay Itachi-san, un" Deidara said jumping off his bed and following Itachi out the door and into the hall.

Itachi and Deidara walked down the hall and stopped in front of a door that had a very detailed flower carved into it. Itachi Knocked on the door and said "Konan-san? It's Itachi. I have Deidara-kun with me, he wants to thank you." The door opened reveling a woman with blue hair that had an origami flower in it. "Hello itachi-san, hello Deidara-kun" Konan said looking at each of them in turn.

"Hello Konan-san, un. Thank you for the cloak, un" Deidara said bowing.

"Now now Deidara-kun, why so formal? Please, call me Konan-chan. Anyway there's no need to thank me, it's my job."

"Well, thank you anyway Konan-chan, un."

"Well, you're welcome then Dei-kun." Konan said giggling.

'Dei-kun is it then, un? Well i guess it's all right, i like Konan-chan. Even if she is a little weird, un.' Deidara thought to himself.

Suddenly a light bulb appeared above Konan's head and turned on. "Hey Itachi-san, how about you and i show Deidara-kun around and introduce him to everybody?"

"Sure Konan-san."

"How about it Dei-kun? Do you want to meet everybody?"

"Okay, un. And um Konan-chan, un?"

"Yes?"

"Where did that light bulb come from, un?"

"Nowhere really. I just had an idea that's all."

"Oh okay, un" 'I wonder if that happens every time she gets an idea, un. I imagine that that would get annoying, un'

Itachi and Konan gave Deidara a tour of the Akatsuki base. Along the way Itachi and konan took turns introducing Deidara to the other members. By the end of the day Deidara knew all of the members. He learned that Hidan and Kakuzu were the men who had captured him and brought him to the base. Hidan was an immortal, a sadomasochist, and a religious fanatic. Hidan spent four hours straight each day doing religious rituals and praying to Jashin, his god. The Medallion he wears everywhere was actually a religious symbol that he never takes off. Hidan was actually very nice to Deidara and they became friends quickly. Kakuzu, Hidan's partner, was a Greedy sadist with a short temper. He was very muscular and, in Deidara's opinion, very intimidating. The only parts of his body that could be seen, due to the amount of cloths he was wearing, were his eyes which were green with red scleras**(2)**. Kakuzu didn't say much but he did glare allot. Deidara made a mental note not to get on his bad side.

Next Deidara met Kisame. Kisame was a large shark-like man with blue tinted skin and what seemed to be gills. He carried around a large sword that was bandaged up. Kisame was pretty rude and hostile towards Deidara, until Itachi scolded him at which point he stalked away muttering to himself. Deidara Then met Zetsu, a man with two toned skin. One half of his body was a dark, almost black, green. While his other half was a light, almost white, green. He had a giant Venus flytrap surrounding his shoulders and head. Deidara immediately deemed Zetsu crazy when they came across him talking to himself using two separate voices.

"No, we will NOT eat Tobi, he is a good boy"

**"But i bet he would taste good" **

"That's not the point Tobi is our friend"

**"Tobi is annoying" **

"Zetsu?" Itachi interrupted.

**"**Y**e**s**?**" both voices answered in unison.

_"Konan-chan is talking in two voices at the same time even possible, un?" _Deidara whispered to Konan

_"Nothing is impossible around here" _Konan replied

"This is Deidara. Deidara meet Zetsu." Itachi introduced them

"Hi, un"

**"**H**i**"

After that Zetsu had stared at Deidara hungrily until Itachi and Konan decided it was time to go.

"Konan-san should we introduce him to Tobi"

"Sure. Why wouldn't we?"

"Well he isn't really a part of Akatsuki"

"Touché, Itachi-san, touché"

Just then a black blur came flying down the hall and smacked right into Itachi, who in turn fell down.

"Tobi get off me" Itachi said as he pushed the black clad Tobi off of him

"Tobi is sorry Itachi-san" Tobi said then he wiped around to look at Deidara "HI! TOBI IS TOBI WHO ARE YOU?" Tobi yelled at Deidara.

"Um I'm Deidara, un."

"IT"S NICE TO MEET YOU DEIDARA-SEMPAI"

"It's nice to meet you too, un?" Deidara stated in a questioning way "Hey, Tobi-san, un?"

"Yeees?" Tobi asked leaning towards Deidara "Oh and no san just Tobi. k?"

"Uh okay. Tobi aren't you older than me, un?"

"Depends. How old are you sempai?"

"Fourteen, un"

"Then yesh Tobi ish older than you"

"Then why do you keep calling me sempai, un?"

" 'Cuz silly, Tobi feels like it" Tobi chirped happily, poking Deidara on the nose.

"Oh okay then, i guess that's alright, un"

"Well guys it's almost time for dinner so Itachi-san will you set the table?"

"Sure" Itachi said before walking to the kitchen.

"Tobi, will you go find everybody except for Sasori-san and bring them to the kitchen?"

"Okey Dokey" Tobi saluted Konan then skipped away.

"Dei-kun will you go and get Sasori-san?"

"Okay Konan-chan, un"

Deidara walked upstairs to his and Sasori's shared room. "Sasori no Danna, un?"

"What do you want brat?"

"Konan-chan said to get you for diner, un"

"Fine, tell her I'll be down in a minute"

"Okay Sasori no Danna, un"

Deidara turned and walked out closing the door behind him leaving Sasori alone with his thoughts.

'I can't believe that i have to have a little brat as a partner. Well as long as Pein doesn't expect me to be all friendly with him then i guess it's fine."

Sasori Cleaned up as he thought. Sasori's back opened up to revile a young red headed boy. The boy looked down at Sasori's body 'I guess that I'll have to leave Hikaru**(3) **up here until i can finish making his new parts'

The boy then turned and left the room.

------ Downstairs in the kitchen ------

"Hey Dei-kun where is Sasori-san?"

"He told me to tell you that he will be down in a minute, un"

"Oh, alright. Why don't you take a seat in between me and Itachi-san? I'm sitting here and he is sitting there" Konan said motioning to two empty chairs as she and Itachi placed food on the table.

"Okay Konan-chan, un" Deidara said sitting down between Itachi's and Konan's chairs

Everyone was sitting at a large circular table in the middle of the kitchen**(4)**. Konan was to sit next to Pein who sat next to an empty chair. Next to the empty chair sat Kakuzu, next to him was Hidan, on Hidan's other side was Zetsu next to Zetsu sat Tobi who was also next to Kisame. Itachi's chair was next to Kisame and Deidara was sitting in between Itachi and Konan.

Just as Konan and Itachi were sitting down the red haired boy walked in. Kisame spit out his juice all over his plate**(5)**. Everyone stared at the boy in shock, except for Deidara who looked at him in confusion. The boy just calmly sat down and started eating**(6)**. _"Konan-chan Who is he and why is everyone so shocked, un"_

_"Dei-kun that's Sasori-san"_

_"What are you talking about,un? He looks nothing like Sasori no Danna, un"_ 'He is MUCH cuter than Danna'

"Brat, first i can hear you, second before i was in Hikaru one of my puppets. Everyone is shocked because i rarely leave Hikaru in the presence of others."

Deidara blushed because Sasori could hear every word he had said "Oh, Sorry Danna, un."

'He is kind of cute when he blushes. NO WHAT AM I THINKING?!? He is just a little brat who is in now way cute! The lack of sleep**(7)** must be getting to me. Yeah that's all nothing to worry about.' Sasori's face gave no clue of what he was thinking.

Everybody finished eating, put their dishes in the dish washer, and went to hang out before going to sleep.

------ In Deidara's and Sasori's room at night ------

Deidara layed in his bed, facing away from Sasori, thinking to himself 'i cant believe i made a fool of my self in front of Danna, un. It's even worse since he is actually really hot, un!'

Sasori on the other hand was fast asleep and worry free. Deidara turned around to look at Sasori and sighed 'if he wasn't such an asshole then i might actually have been attracted to him, un. But there is no way i could EVER like a guy like him, un. Well maybe he will eventually soften up on me, un. HA! AS IF, un. That's never going to happen. Oh well . . . i have friends . . . who' Deidara's yawn briefly interrupted his thoughts 'needs . . . a jerk . . . like . . . 'im . . . any . . .way . . . not me . . . no . . way'**(8)**

With that Deidara fell asleep.

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**(1)** I will refer to everybody by who they have been reviled to be in the story hence Sasori is being called Akasuna.

**(2)** Your scleras are the whites of your eyes.

**(3)** In a fanfic i once read Sasori's puppet body shell thing was called Hikaru so that is what i will call it too.

**(4)** They have a REALLY big kitchen.

**(5)** I was going to have him spit on the person across from him but then i realized that that would be Sasori's chair so i changed it.

**(6)** In my story Sasori can eat but he doesn't need to. He just likes Konan's cooking.

**(7)** He needs some sleep but only an hour a week. Unless he has been doing allot of jutsus in which case he would need more sleep. He will also sleep if he has nothing better to do. Also he isn't really tired he is just making excuses. =3

**(8)** Deidara was falling asleep which is why his words were lagging. The . . . 's were the pauses he was taking in between thought words. when writing this i was imagining a cute little sleepy Dei it was SO cute XD

I did promise a longer chapter didn't i?

Well here it is. Only several hours later, lol.

Im only stopping here because it is time for me to go to sleep.

Constructive criticism is welcome, Flames will be used to cook ramen.

Reviewers get cookies and a virtual hugs.


	3. Pancakes

Hey guys! yes i know it's been forever and I'm sorry. I got stuck on the second scene when Deidara was brushing his hair.

I have a poll up on my profile, please vote. I'll be much obliged.

I would like to thank Alana-sakura, black55widow, and xxkeeponlivingxx for reviewing, faving and or subscribing to my story.

Soooo thanks guys =3.

"Speaking"

"YELLING"

'Thinking'

_"Wispering"_

_**"Telepathic speaking"**_

_'Reading'_

**"Zetsu's Black side"**

**"**Zetsu's **black **and** white** sides **talking **in** unison" **or **"**Y**e**s**"**

**(Author's notes)**

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sasori sat up in bed and looked at his clock. 'Three fifteen, eh? I should get back to work on Hiruko**(1)**.' Sasori turned to get up and caught sight of the sleeping Deidara 'Aww, he really is adorable. Wait, what? I can't believe this. Am i going crazy or something?' Sasori closed his eyes and sighed standing up. 'Damn, Orochimaru must have rubbed off on me or something**(2)**'. Sasori walked over to Deidara's bed and stared at him, smirking. 'I wonder if i would ever be able to live it down if anyone found out i was' Sasori shuttered 'crushing on the brat. Oh. My. God. I am really sick aren't i. I hope that this is just a stupid faze. If it wasn't i don't know what i would do.' Sasori turned and went into the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed.

When Sasori got out of the bathroom he sat down at his desk and looked at Deidara who was sitting on his bed, dressed, and brushing his hair. Deidara feeling eyes on him Deidara turned to look at Sasori but he had already focused his attention on his puppets. "Hey Danna, what are you doing, un?" Deidara asked curiously. "I'm fixing my puppets." "How did the break, un?" "I use them to fight" "How, un?" "BRAT WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME CONCENTRATE?" Sasori yelled getting fed up with Deidara's questions "Fine you ass, un" Deidara replied scowling. During the conversation Deidara had moved closer to Sasori. So close, in fact, that when Sasori went to turn around to yell at Deidara about his disrespectful comment he ended up elbowing him in the face. "OW!" Deidara yelped "That really hurts, un" "Don't be such a baby" "Danna just in-case you Didn't realize getting your nose slammed in by someon's elbow really fricken HURTS!" "Well why the hell were you so close to me in the first place brat?" "I just wanted to see what you were doing, un" "I told you what i was doing you little shit!"

"HEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO ASSHOLES DOING IN HERE! I'M TRYING TO FUCKING DO A MOTHERFUCKING RITUAL! AND I CAN'T FUCKIN' CONCENTRATE WITH YOU TWO DUMB ASSES FUCKING YELLING AND SHIT!" Hidan burst in covered in blood and yelling but calmed down when he saw Deidara on the floor with a bloody nose and a pissed off looking Sasori sitting in a chair next to him. "Hey panokio don't tell me you fuckin' decked Blondie." "No this little shit decided it would be a good idea to get up right next to me and then make a rude comment. Which resulted in me accidentally elbowing him in the face." Sasori calmly explained. "Oh, okay then, well be quiet with that i cant fuckin' concentrate." With that Hidan left. Deidara stood up and went into the bathroom to try to stop his nose bleed and get cleaned up.

---------------------------------- Later in the living room ----------------------------------------

"Hey Dei-chyan" Konan said as she happily bounced over to Deidara and sat down next to him on the couch "Whats got your panties in a twist?" "Oh it's just that, HEY WAIT A MINUIT, UN. I DO NOT WEAR PANTIES,UN!" Deidara said with a blush as he registered Konan's statement half way through his response. "Yeah i know i just wanted to see your reaction. So what's up?" Deidara sighed turning to look at Konan "Sasori-Danna is just being an ass that's all, un" "O-rlly**(3)**? What did he do?" "Well I was asking him questions about what he was doing but after a little while he flipped out on me, un. Then i called him an ass so he went to turn around and accidental nailed me in the face, un. And when i said that it hurt he told me not to be a baby and said that it was my fault 'cuz i shouldn't have been so close, un! Now understand i was being sort of annoying but he could have asked me to leave him alone nicely, un. And I realize that i was in his personal space but he could have at least apologized and not have been a total ASS about it, un." Konan nodded "I agree, but that's just how Sasori-san is. He is pretty antisocial, he never admits when he is wrong and almost never has anything nice to say. Also he was mean to every one at first but got more agreeable as he got used to them." "So it's not just me, un?" "Well he is being extra hard on you but that's probably because he didn't want a new partner and he never liked kids, not even when he was one!" "Oh i see, do you think if i try to be less annoying he might be nicer to me, un?" "Maybe, but i cant make any promises." "Okay, and thanks Konan-chan i feel a lot better now, un" "No problem Dei-chan". Konan stood up and patted Deidara on the head "Well i think Kisame-san is done making breakfast. Lets go eat, I'm STARVING!" "Okay,un. Do you know what he made, un?" "No, no i do not" Konan stated happily as she skipped into the kitchen.

When Deidara entered the kitchen he saw Konan happily eating pancakes and Kisame at the stove making said pancakes**(4)**, in a frilly pink apron.

"Hey Konan-chan,un." Deidara whispered in Konan's ear "Why is he wearing that apron,un?" "Because Kakuzu is too much of a cheep skate to buy us a better apron." Kisame replied gruffly walking over and dropping a plate of pancakes onto the table. Deadara jumped emitting a squeak "Y-you could hear me,un?" "Yeah" "O-oh, un well sorry, un." Deidara stuttered shrinking back "Yeah what ever" Kisame said as he walked back to the stove to make more pancakes. "Hey fuckers" Hidan said as he and Itachi walked into the kitchen. Itachi was wearing a pair of gray baggy sweat pants and a black shirt and his hair was down and slightly tussled. Hidan on the other-hand had his hair slicked back and was wearing nothing but his signature medallion and a pair of black boxers with red Jashin symbols on them. "Hey Hidan-san" Deidara and Konan chimed back in unison. Deidara adding an 'un' to the end of course. "So Blondie hows the nose?" Hidan asked sitting down, grabbing a pancake and taking a bite.

"It's fine now thanks, un." "What happened to your nose?" Itachi asked, concerned. Getting himself a plate of pancakes and sitting down next to Deidara. "Akasuna nailed him in the face" Hidan said around a mouth-full of pancake. "Swallow before talking you idiot" Kakuzu scolded Hidan as he walked in. "Shove it up your ass" Hidan replied after swallowing "Shut up and put on some god dammed pants!". Meanwhile as Hidan and Kakuzu continued to argue Itachi was fussing over Deidara "Poor thing. Sasori-san is such a meanie." Itachi said kissing Deidara on the nose. Kisame scowled **(5)**. "Ah, it's not really that big of a deal, un. It was an accident, un." "Oh" Itachi sat there in silence for a while "Well then i guess you owe me a kiss." Deidara spit out his juice onto Hidan**(6)** resulting in a 'What the hell man' and Kisame, who had been walking over to the table tripped over himself throwing them into the air. Thankfully Kakuzu caught them with his strings and set them on the table. "WHAT!!!" Deidara and Kisame yelled together, Deidara was so shocked he didn't add an 'un'. "Yep. You owe me a kiss. Right here" Itachi said tapping his cheek. "Why, un." Deidara questioned, Kisame was to busy having a twitching fit to respond. " 'cuz i gave you one and Itachi Uchiha doesn't just go around giving out kisses for no reason." Deidara sighed rolling his eyes "Fine, un" Deidara replied kissing Itachi on the cheek. "Happy, un?" "Very" Itachi smirked . "Um guys? i think Kisame-san is having a seizure" Konan stated points to the twitching Kisame on the floor. Itachi leans over Kisame to get a better look "Yep that's what it looks like." Itachi then pokes Kisame several times "Think we should tell Leader-sama**(7)**?" "Tell me what?" Pein asked "Kisame-chan had a seizure" "Itachi" "Yes?" "Why did you call him 'chan'?" Itachi shrugged "I Dunno". At this point Kisame sat up and looked around at everyone starring at him "What?" "You just had a fuckin' seizure" "I did?" "Yes" "Why" "FUCKIN' HELL IF I KNOW DUMB-ASS I'M NOT SOME KINDA SEIZURE EXPERT!!!" Hidan yelled flipping Kisame off. "Well SORRY" Kisame said stomping out of the kitchen and back to his and Itachi's room. "Ah well I should probably make sure he doesn't break anything" Itachi said getting up to follow Kisame "See yah" Itachi lifted his hand in lou of a wave as he left.

All of the Akatsuki minus Sasori, Itachi, and Kisame settled themselves in the living room to watch a movie. "Hey Dei-chan" "Yeah Konkan-chan, un" "Can you go get Itachi and Kisame so they can watch the movie too?" "Sure, un".

_*****_Deidara walked down the hall up the stairs to Itachi and Kisame's room and knocked on the door. "Yeah" Itachi opens the door and to Deidara's shock Itachi is completely naked except for a sheet rapped around his waist and looking sexily disheveled** (A/N: Don't you wish you were Dei right about now xD)** causing Deidara to blush slightly. From in the room Deidara can hear Kisame growl "What the hell Itachi?". "A-ano**(8)** am I interrupting something, un?" "Damn right you are" Kisame Growled walking over in only a pair of Itachi's pants. Deidara, blushing beet red now, looks down at his feet and says "WearegoingtowatchamovieandKonan-chanwantedmetogetyouguyssocomedownwhenyourdoneun" Deidara then turned and ran down the stairs. "Huh" Itachi said looking slightly confused "What was his problem?" "Don't know don't care" Kisame replied pulling Itachi back into the room closing the door behind them.

Deidara entered the living room still red as a tomato. "What the fuck isa matter wit you Blondie?" "Um, well, Itachi and Kisame were, um, a little busy, un" "Whatever" Hidan turned back to the T.V. "Let's just fuckin' watch it without those stupid motherfuckers." "What type of movie is this anyway, un?" "Horror" Konan said as she started the movie.

By the time the movie was over Deidara was a shaking bundle of nerves and it didn't help that half way through the movie a thunderstorm had started up. "BOO!" Hidan yelled in Deidara's ear. Deidara in-turn screamed at the top of his lungs and punched Hidan in the face. "HAHAHAHA YOU SHUDA' SEEN YOUR FUCKIN' FACE!!!'' Hidan laughed. "Shut up jerk, un" Deidara mumbled crossing his arms and looked away. "Okay guys time for sleep" Konan said clapping her hands together. Some mumblings of 'I'm not tired' and the likes could be heard but everyone complied to Konan's wishes.

------------In Deidara and Sasori's room-----------------

'This is ridiculous' Sasori thought to himself as he watched the shaking bundle of blankets that was Deidara which visibly jumped every time there was a thunder clap. "Brat come here" Sasori ordered making up his mind. Deidara slowly got up and shuffled over to Sasori. "Get in" Sasori ordered getting in his bed and holding up the covers for Deidara who just stood there staring at the space Sasori had made for him. Just as Sasori was about to yell at Deidara to 'get in the damn bed' The thunder clapped and Deidara leaped into the bed and curled up against Sasori. Sasori wrapped his arms around Deidara and started rubbing soothing patterns on his back. Slowly Deidara drifted off eventually followed by Sasori. They both had their first good dream in years.

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**(1)** xxkeeponlivingxx told me that in the manga Sasori's puppet body thing was actually named Hiruko not Hikaru

**(2)** i heard somewhere that Orochimaru was Sasori's partner before Deidara but left after Itachi scared him off

**(3)** That's not a type-o. She really said it like that.

**(4)** Mmmm pancakes

**(5)** lol jealous Kisa =3

**(6)** Finally i get to make someone spit on someone else! (remember how in the last chap i wanted Kisa to spit on some one?)

**(7)** Only Sasori and Konan call Pein by his name

**(8)** Ano means um or well in Japanese

_*** **_This Scene is for my friend Nekonna Megami


	4. Antics

Yes! I'm finaly done with this chapter! :) . When wrighting this i relized just how inapropreate me and my life realy are XD

I got a Beta 3. I know, I know, why don't i just beta my own work i am a beta myself afterall. But do you how hard it is to Beta you'r own work? I figured owt how hard it was after going back and rereading my stories that were already posted only to relize that alot of words are COMPLEETLY MISSING! I think my spell cheack is eating them T.T

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"Hey assholes, stop fuckin' fuckin' **(1)** and get up" Hidan yelled as he stood over Sasori's bed looking down at the snuggling Sasori and Deidara. When Hidan yelled Deidara jumped and stared at Hidan while Sasori just opened his eyes and glared at the Jashinist.

"We were doing no such thing." Sasori growled out at Hidan. 'There's no way I would ever allow myself to fall to Orochimaru's level like that.'

"Yeah of course you weren't Saso-chan" Hidan replied teasingly.

"Don't call me that." Sasori said glaring daggers at Hidan.

"Hey I know you just wanted to cuddle, why the fuck else would you have been asleep?"

"Because I couldn't get anything done with Deidara's whimpering"

"What? Was your cock too big?" **(2)**

"WHAT! Un." Deidara screeched, his face turning scarlet to mach Sasori's hair.

"Ha, ha! Look it talks!" Hidan laughed.

"What are you doing to Dei-chan?" Itachi asked walking into the room. Itachi was wearing blue pajama bottoms with cartoon weasels on them; his hair was down and he was holding a yellow smiley-face mug filled with coffee.

"This idiot was just insisting that Deidara and I were having sex." Sasori replied nodding to Hidan.

"Hmmm" Itachi hummed into his coffee.

"We weren't" Sasori clarified.

"I know, I was just thinking" Itachi replied looking up from his coffee

"About what Itachi-san? Un." Deidara asked looking over at Itachi.

"If you to do have sex, can I watch?" Itachi asked nonchalantly.

"WHAT! Itachi-san! un" Deidara yelled.

"Get out, NOW, the both of you." Sasori growled out, pointing at the door.

"Hn, you're no fun." Itachi said, turning on his heel and walking out the door.

"Breakfast motherfuckers."**(3)** Hidan said flipping Sasori off and walking out.

- - - - - - In the Kitchen - - - - - -

When Deidara and Sasori walked into the kitchen they saw Itachi standing on one leg and holding a tray of assorted muffins, while pushing Kisame away with his other foot which was placed on the sharks face.

"Itachi-san please just give me a muffin!" Kisame half whined grabbing for the muffins.

"No you shouldn't have woken me up so early. Now you have to beg." Itachi said this as if he was explaining to a child why he couldn't have a cookie before dinner. "Now down on your knees!" Itachi exclaimed trying to push Kisame's face into the floor with his foot. Seeing this, Sasori sighed and went to get some coffee.

"Hey Itachi-san? Un."

"Yeees Dei-chan?" Itachi asked in a sing-song way.

"Can I have a muffin? Un."

"Sure Dei-chan." Itachi said, holding out the tray of muffins to Deidara while continuing to hold Kisame down.

Deidara grabbed a blueberry muffin and took a bite. "Oh great lord Itachi-sama! Can I please have a muffin!" Kisame begged.

"Hm, let me think about it" Itachi took a chocolate chip muffin from the tray, taking a bite of it. Itachi removed his foot from Kisame's face "Sit" Itachi said holding the muffin over Kisame's head. Kisame sat. "Beg", Kisame begged. "Good boy" Itachi said in a baby voice patting Kisame on the head and sticking the muffin in his partner's mouth. Kisame stood up and walked over to the table to devour his prize.

"Oh my fucking god! You guys are better than fuckin' TV!" Hidan laughed slapping Kisame on the back.

"Itachi-san, don't you think that was a little harsh? Un." Deidara asked softly.

"Nah, I'm just asserting my dominance. He IS my bitch after all." Itachi stated smugly.

Deidara stared at Itachi in a confused manner. But then again, maybe he really didn't want to know. "Um, ok? Un."

"Oh my god! I slept through Tuesday!" Konan yelled as she ran into the kitchen.

"What are you talking about Konan-chan? Un." Deidara asked tilting his head to the side.

"I slept all through yesterday."

"But Konan-chan _Today_ is Tuesday. Un". Konan looked dumbstruck "It is?"

Deidara nodded. "Yes, un."

"Then why does my calendar say that it's Wednesday?"

"Because, last night you knocked it off your desk and the page ripped off." Pein said walking into the kitchen.

"Oh that makes sense, ooh muffins." Konan said grabbing a muffin. "Thanks 'tachi-san" Konan said this through a mouthful of muffin.

"You're welcome."

"Sasori-san, Deidara-san. I have a mission for you." Pein said turning his attention to the aforementioned partners. "Come with me"**(4)** Pein said walking out of the kitchen.

- - - - - - - In Pein's office - - - - - -

"The two of you are to go to Jouryokuju Shi**(5)** a small village about three days walk from here. I need you to kill Tekiya Sonin**(6)**; he was one of our best informants but he has gone a-wol. I need him dead as soon as possible, he is a great risk to the security of the organization. The rest of the information you will need is in this scroll." Pein concluded handing Sasori a scroll and a small bag "In that bag is money for food and housing, whatever you don't use give to Kakuzu. You are dismissed**(7)**."

There i'm done! =3

**(1)** I ment to type this twice, he is saying stop fucking having sex

**(2)** about fifteen minuts after i wrote this my teacher accedently wrote cock on the white board :)

**(3) **I know it is weired but i couldn't help but think of the song i'm on a boat by the lonely island when wrighting this. I'M ON A BOAT MOTHAFUCKA!

**(4) **lol when i typed this up i giggled 'cuz it sounds naughty =P

**(5) **jouryokuju = evergreen tree / shi = city

**(6)** tekiya = faker / sonin = an informant (lol)

**(7) **at this Deidara felt a vage sence of dejavu XD


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